My kids beg me to tuck them in every night and since we've been sheltering-in-place, most days I’m like “not tonight, sweetie.” However, I can't resist sneaking into their rooms at some point during the night to check on them and kiss their sweet, sleeping, quiet, little faces. Sometimes, the next morning, they'll ask me why I didn't tuck them in and I'll say "I check on you all every night." Now that they know this, they’ve developed this habit of saying “don’t wait til we’re asleep, Mommy.” It is really so sweet to hear. They want me to come into their rooms while they are awake so that they can feel me kiss them, hug them and hold them.
Even more than that, they seem to want to have just that moment alone with me. Each of them (with their completely different personalities and nuances) want a small piece of me to themselves. Wow. How cool (and slightly overwhelming) is that? I know one day this may change, but right now...they choose me day in and day out. Even when I’m not trying to choose them. Talk about unconditional love. What a blessing to be a recipient of this type of love. And while of course, mothering comes with a LAUNDRY list of challenges, it has been one of the most fulfilling headaches of my entire life. So, tonight, I won’t wait til they’re asleep...I’ll go and tuck each of them in as soon as they lie down. I’ll kiss them, say a short prayer with them and tell them I love them to the moon and back again. And when I feel completely empty and exhausted from a full day’s work as a business owner, mama, wife and caretaker...I’ll remember to fill myself back up from their endless love and affection. 💓💓💓
But on the toughest days, when Mama just needs some time to herself, I will take that time...along with my wine (or tea) and I will NEVER feel bad about it. Because as much as motherhood is amazing, it can also drain the life out of you. It's so important to know your limits and exercise some boundaries in motherhood. Don't ever feel shamed for needing to be away from your kids or for not "loving every minute." It's utterly impossible to do so and we are all trying to do our very best with what we have.
So, on Wednesday, I honored their wishes, but on Thursday, I honored mine...and that is what I call winning (for all of us). Happy Momming!