Have you ever been lost driving somewhere? I’m sure we all have. It’s an incredibly humbling, frightening and/or stressful feeling, right? Failed GPS, no map and you’re all alone. Much like being physically lost, feeling emotionally lost can take a toll. Feeling completely lost is like acknowledging that everything you’ve planned and worked for is withering to dust and being blown away by the wind. The direction you imagined your life moving in seems so very different than your reality and you feel powerless to do anything about it.
I’m not ashamed (not entirely at least) to admit that I have felt that way…as a matter of fact, I’m feeling that way right now. I’m feeling defeated and completely overwhelmed. While this is not out of character for a mom/wife/business owner or HUMAN, for that matter…it is a little odd for me to feel this way while I am so close to reaching some major accomplishments and fantastic business moves. I should quite actually, be very HAPPY and very positive right now. I think I usually am, but I’ve got to be honest and say that I’m not feeling it today.
So, I’ve decided to just go with it. Sometimes I believe we dismiss our negative thoughts before we understand why we’re having them. And instead of taking the time to move THROUGH them, we choose to ignore or temporarily bury them.
The truth is I’m not feeling happy or bubbly or excited, because despite my progression, I feel a little lost…as if the things that I’m doing to move to this “next phase” of my life are futile and insignificant. I’m sure (somewhere inside myself) that they’re not, but I’m having a hard time believing it at this moment.
I, like many of you, have been going full speed ahead leaving very little time to assess my feelings and deal with them head on. So, that’s what I’m doing now…and encouraging you to do as well. Considering what’s going on in our world right now it’s not far fetched to think that you or I may be carrying some extra anxiety, stress, anger or even fear around with us. As much as I may try to avoid news stories on television and online, I am very much aware of what’s happening and it is somewhat depressing. Pile that on top of whatever other genuine personal stress you might be juggling and that is a recipe for a mental or emotional breakdown.
So, lets all just STOP, for one moment…take it all in…and then LET IT ALL GO. Take an inventory of the problems you CAN address versus the problems you CAN’T and make a decision to dedicate a small amount of time or action to each of those that you can and leave the others to prayer and someone else’s capable hands. We cannot all be activists for ALL things. Quite simply put, choose your battles in life and fight them strong. But leave the rest of them to other soldiers.
In the midst of your challenges, remind yourself that it’s okay to be upset (though I’m still learning this myself). I occasionally feel a deep sense of regret when I get angry and want to curse or scream. I suppose having a conscience about those things can be good, but I’ve also found that sometimes you may need to scream, curse or punch a punching bag to reduce the stress that is inherent to you if you walk this earth long enough. And I think that’s okay. As long as you leave that stress right there and bring yourself back to a place of peace, I believe you have done something healthy…for you and for those that share your space. Get it out, let it go. Pray, cry, yell, stretch, write, run…whatever you need to do…but don’t allow that toxic energy to spend an extra minute festering in your soul.
Most importantly, when you think you’re lost and at your absolute worst, just know that you are STILL quite awesome and amazing. In case you haven’t heard it in a while, tell yourself now, “I am awesome, I am amazing and I am enough.” Though you may FEEL it (and those feelings are valid), you are not lost, you are right where you need to be right when you need to be there. Take it ALL in, then push some of it away, adjust, address and LIVE. Your spiritual, physical, mental and emotional health are completely dependent upon it.
**Ends pep talk to self and steps off of soapbox.** 😉